the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
