So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
