I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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