i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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