woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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