im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
