Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
