i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize