i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
