If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
