guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
