this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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