god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
