Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
