just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
