So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
