how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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