i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
