All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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