At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
