It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
