Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So many bounce houses so little time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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