dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
