The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
