I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i need some magic done to my vagina
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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