if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think your dad took our porno
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
