Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
