it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Will exercising make me less horny?
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