I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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