"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
