trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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