we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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