i would punch a child for taco bell
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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