I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
