just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
