That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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