if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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