i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
