you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
