i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
