The maid of honor just puked.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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