You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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