just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
