You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
