If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
soo... how was my night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
