do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
