Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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