am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
