Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
