I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need water and some morals
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
