I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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