are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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